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”Uncle Teddy, who was behind me, reached around and held it open it like a curtain.“Ecce vampira,” he said.My knees almost gave out. I mean, I like showing off, but this was my fucking grandmother, for God’s sake. If she caught on I was naked, she wouldn’t just want to have sex with me like everybody else did. She’d be pissed.But all she said was, “Oh, Teddy, she looks dead.”“That’s the point,” he said.She looked me up and down. It felt like it took forever, and Uncle Teddy didn’t let go of the cape.“Where did you get the little suit?” she asked.“It’s an old one of mine,” he lied. “I had to cut it up because she’s so little.”“Oh, her face is awful,” she said, but she was smiling. “For such a pretty girl, too. I’d never recognize her.”I was still shaking when we got outside.“I can’t believe you let her look!” I said.“I didn’t think she’d notice,” Uncle Teddy said. “Mom tends to see what she wants to see.”We walked around the block while I worked up my courage. It was a damp, blustery. Just as I was about to leave with nowhere to go, a good Samaritan offered to share his room with me. I accepted and the receptionist had my suitcase taken up to the room as, Phil offered to buy me a drink.I accepted an we had a couple of beers, then Phil had to go he had an appointment. I decided to take a walk in the big city. I had been in London less than two hours when I was mugged by two young teenage girls with a huge knife, they forced me down an alleyway and robbed me of my wallet with the £400; wedding ring: cheap mobile phone; watch and shoes. They then had me drop my trousers round my ankles, before making off. MY LIFE SUCKSI walked to a park and sat on a bench, for the second time I was robbed of my coat by an aggressive tramp. MY LIFE SUCKSI headed back to the hotel and went up to my shared room. The room only had a double bed, I went for a shower before dinner and as I stood under the hot water, I heard the room door opening and the telly was switched on. A few.
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